8# What do you want to be? Diplomatic or Real?

“No legacy is so rich as honesty.”- William Shakespeare

“Always stand on principle … even if you stand alone.” by John Quincy Adams (the 6th US president)

We think, someone is honest, narrow or real while he/she is dealing with the life situations? Is it so? Or Is she/he “practical”, open or diplomatic?

We have always been taught that “honesty is the best policy.” but in real life situation are we able to stand on those principles?

Being honest or real for someone is to be courageous (great quality) and most of the time it is risky (drew back) too. It is risky to the relations, career and life but on other side it is rewarding too.Being honest in the life situations may be bitter as truth however it may reap good rewards if it is taken positively. For example, An academically poor student has been told to get improved in academia may be bitter for a student in the student life timeframe but they will appreciate the importance of good education and learning in the life once they will be benefiting from that education. The major risk is to the “truth speaker”, in above example is teacher or parents, to lose their nice and glossy image in front of those students and sometimes fear of getting hurt their own ego due to the opposition or disobedience. However in longer term the “truth speaker” will be remembered for his/her views as compared to the person without expressing any views or pampering the students.

Being diplomatic may be sweeter than a honey however it may create your impression as “fair weather person” or “person without principle” among general people. Taking the same example if students are pampered regardless of poor academic performance just to keep nice and glossy image of teacher up in front of the students, he/she will be cursed once they will need to use the learning from that academia. Then  the teacher loose his/her lovely  image forever. Only people were remembered in the history who lived  and stood on their principles. Even politicians, who have been too diplomatic, never been remembered by the history.

Truth and Principles

In Indian epic Mahabharata, while there was a time for Dharma Yuddha -“War between good and evil”, Shri Krishna, godhead personality, himself took the stand on his principles and truth, so he supported the Pandavas – the five brothers who were fighting to regain their kingdom which was denied to return by Duryodhana and his brothers – Evil minded cousins of the Pandavas. On the same time Shri Krishna’s brother Shri Balrama, who was equivalent in the strengths to Shri Krishna, had chosen to be reluctant to participate in the war because he was supporting both of them. Later in the war, he cursed Bhim-the strongest Pandava for killing Duryodhana by not following rules of warfare then Shri Krishna told him politely not to intervene as he had a chance to stand on his views but he avoided to join the war of Mahabharata and he chosen to be good to both parties.

Sardar Patel-First Union Home Minister of India took his stand on uniting over 600 princely state into the one independent India. His bitter views about merging the states into new country and principles were opposed by Nehru and many other politicians otherwise there would be chaos in the region. He is now being appreciated by current generations ,While on the other side initially adored Nehru is being cursed for dividing the one nation in two nations -India and Pakistan. Gandhi is also being blamed for not doing enough to stop this divsion.They never regarded well in the history for this cause.

Being diplomatic is still good for the person where you need to treat each person equally at the work without standing on his/her own views. For example as a professional employee you generally stand on your employer’s view points and values same as politician who stand on his/her party’s principles.

But on the other side you need to understand and justify to yourself and the world how good are your principles overall or is it just your ego?

It is risky , It is scary , There is a possibility of being hurt even though be yourself however it doesn’t mean you hurt others.

What do you want to be diplomatic or real ?




6# Friendship Briefing

A friendship is the “volunteer relationship” a person would build during his/her life stages. The person’s life stage changes the perspectives to the friendship over the time. Some keep the relation same throughout the life and some changes due to factors like class-ism, importance, ignorance, avoidance and requirements etc.

I believe common types of friendship may have been seen are ,

  1. School/college Friendship : This is the honest and long-lasting friendship because it is not based on any hidden expectations/agendas. On the other side this is the tough to maintain because of the new friendships come along the path of the life.No expectations,no jealousy,tolerance and no hidden agendas are the factors which leads this friendship to its genuineness. Most of the friends of school times are always excited about everybody’s wellness and help.Even though they get little time to meet each other due to location,time,profession and other constraints.e.g. School friends’ meet always discuss about old good memories and everybody’s progress or helping each other.
  2. Nature Friendship: Nature can be a great friend in terms of loving a garden,river,mountain,forest,ocean or animals. This friendship generally is without any expectations.MOST SACRED FRIENDSHIP.
  3. Professional/Business Friendship : When the person enters into the profession, he/she starts making friends of same or different interests in the profession.The person generally spends one-third time of his/her day at the work so this friendship can be more deep and honest. This relationship could last longer till the death or till the job ends.It is entirely depend on how the relationship is maintained both way.This friendship is considered most volatile friendship.
  4. Social Friendship: The social friendship may be developed in many ways like relation with our kid’s friend’s parents, our neighbours or club members etc. This friendships generally changes as the priorities and needs of the person changes in his life during various stages of his/her life. Some people may find the social friendships are hardest to maintain over the time as same interest as it has been started. This type of friendship generally stay live when the friends are on same locations where they can meet regularly as soon as the location changes the friendship is getting blurrier and sometimes to the end due to lack of any communication.
  5. Family Friendship: People related via family,blood and other close means are falling into this category.This type of friendship is built due to the family known each other from long time.In family relation friendship,it has been seen many brothers,sisters,mothers,fathers,cousins,aunts,uncles and in-laws etc are friends of each others. This friendships are closely knitted friendships which may have lots of expectations too thus when this friendship get damaged,it hurts the most.
  6. Life Friendship : In this type of friendship,Only two persons can be your friend-one is your partner or yourself (God). Most intense relationship where you can share anything and everything.

Even though people surrounded by lots of friends ,why many of them are not happy with their current state of  friendship.

Here are the few reasons ,

  • Expectations : Expecting something from people is common but minimum expectations keep your friendship without complain.
  • Comparison : Comparing yourself with your friend is completely unjust to yourself as everyone is different in the fact of your priorities,needs,life journey and value system then why to compare? The difference make you more colorful than the dull uniformity.
  • Jealousy : Being jealous is common human instincts however once you understand what is your life journey about and nothing you can compare then there will be no space for jealousy.
  • Prejudice : A person who set an opinion based on the experience previously had from the person.It is unfair to yourself to keep going with the same thoughts. Be tolerant an accept the friend with new perspective. You may overcome from prejudice.

Friendship is the best relation in the world which can be maintained only by your dedication towards friendship,selflessness in the friendship,no calculations and less expectations.

In a simple words for any relationship “think about others before yourself they will do the same.”

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